allergicreality

It’s not that I really mind bugs so much, really. As long as they stay off of me and my stuff I’m usually OK to co-habitate until I can kill them all.

But we have these roaches. The suckers are like FOUR INCHES LONG, no exaggeration. These things beat other roaches up in the playground and steal their lunch money.

Every time I see one, my thought process goes something like this:

I can take it this time.
OK, roach, come on. Come over here and let me squish you.
I’ve got a paper towel right here, see? Just for you. You’re doomed.
DOOMED.
Ohmygoshitmovedit’sgoingtorunupmyshirtandgetonmyboobsaaaaaaaaaagh!

Me, like a little girl: “Kevin! GIANT ROACH! Come squish it!”

Husband rushes in, squishes roach, laughs at me for being such a girl.

One time this big ugly sucker even chased me across the floor until I remembered I was wearing shoes and stepped on it. They didn’t even PRETEND to fall for the roach motels, and I’m pretty sure they’re building up a resistance to the super strength kills-bugs-and-small-animals spray we used all around the house.

Sigh. I hate bugs.

So here’s my new plan for helping to encourage good parenting (or at least keeping annoying kids away from me):

If you parent poorly and kid is a brat at home and drives you nuts and doesn’t respect you, YOU get to discipline HIM. But. If your kid is a brat in public and terrorizes the general populace, OTHER PEOPLE get to discipline YOU.

I bet that’d work frighteningly well.

It is such a Monday that today I actually managed to successfully schedule myself a contact lens examination at the wrong optometrist! That event was sandwiched by how I knocked over an entire Tupperware container full of birdseed onto the floor last night, and whatever klutzy thing I manage to find to do in the next 24 hours. Yay me!

The Bliss bibliographic classification system is completely retarded. I know this because my local library uses it, and I hate it. The library in my hometown uses Dewey Decimal which is nice and sensible and everything is easy to find. The Durham library, on the other hand, uses some kind of nutty combination of Bliss and/or Library of Congress and some stuff I’m pretty sure they just made up, and also the CDs are apparently categorized by Dewey (but that hardly matters, because nothing I want is ever where it ought to be).

The fiction department in particular is terrible. Not only are the books rather maddeningly organized alphabetically by genre (supposedly), but all the graphic novels are scattered in with the regular books by author. I’ll be damned if I can remember who wrote the graphic novels I want to read, much less be able to find them sandwiched sideways between fat little novels and sometimes not even on the right shelves at all.

The point of all this that I couldn’t find the book I wanted today and I blame somebody who wasn’t paying attention when they got their degree in library science. Use Dewey, you goof.

I dunno, is it really even fair to put this post up on the same day as the veritable flood of guitar-godism that went before?

I’m saying “yes” because it’s a totally different kind of genius.

*Snort*

In real life, I was attacked by a potato last night. But this probably has nothing to do with that.

My desk smells suspiciously like a cookie today. Or possibly a cinnamon bun, I’m not sure.

It might also be my headphones, which I find slightly more disturbing. What insidious individual is going around putting a delicious food smell right under my nose? WHY?

Could have something to do with the cookie I ate yesterday but while it was delicious, I don’t recall that is smelled viciously yummy.

There is treachery everywhere. In delicious treat form.

On the one hand I can’t really imagine any way Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull wouldn’t suck, other than the small bit of hope I have left that Steven Spielberg won’t let himself be totally tainted by the lunacy of George Lucas. It’s the fourth part to a perfect trilogy - and not a GOOD fourth part, like…

Well honestly I can’t think of a good fourth part, unless you count Star Wars as being Episode IV. Which I don’t.

Does anybody want to see Lord of the Rings 4? Kill Bill 4? God forbid, The Matrix 4?

There’s something about a trilogy that squares things off. It makes a statement, that you have a story to tell, and when the trilogy is over, the story has been told. Attempting to satisfy the masses by picking up that story later only cheapens what came before. It’s never going to be as good as what we imagined.

Plus, y’know, Harrison Ford is OLD. There’s no way he’s going to kick ass.

But on the other hand there’s the other part of me that wants to say, Indy is forever! He’s going to his grave kicking a Nazi in the teeth and nothing is going to stop Crystal Skull from living up to all my dreams (and making up for my low expectations).

Admittedly that’s a very small part of me, and it’s the pretty stupid part so I wouldn’t listen to it. I have to admit the poster is pretty badass.

The first thing I can ever really remember wanting to be was an archaeologist. Of course then I figured out that most archaeologists spend their time brushing off bones and being very careful with a bunch of moldy old artifacts, and aren’t generally recognized as globetrotting badasses. But the dream was still there - instead, I just wanted to be Indiana Jones. I had the hat and everything.

I know the poster is probably more awesome than the movie will ever be, that it’s probably going to suck, that I’ll probably never accept it as part of the Indy canon, but I’ll still go see it. But in my head I’ll probably be picturing Temple of Doom where he’s running from the giant rolling stone, and remembering how I broke the only trophy I ever won in a beauty contest while roller-skating around my parents’ basement in a fedora, pretending to be Indiana Jones.

Yay!

There’s plenty of reason for the Browncoats to look forward to 2008. Dark Horse has a whole lot of Serenity coming down the pipeline! First and foremost is the new Serenity comics series that is due out in March. This three-issue series, Serenity: Better Days, is a step back in time to the early years of the Firefly crew, and the fledgling gang’s turbulent attempts to cope with success after they pull off their first successful heist. It features the same creative team as Those Left Behind, with the story by Joss Whedon and Brett Matthews, art by Will Conrad, and Adam Hughes providing all three covers this time.

Read more… [via comicbookresources.com]

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